


We're Okay

by nylasaur



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1590284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nylasaur/pseuds/nylasaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's cold and lonely, being the only one to survive. Post-war. Spoilers. Major character death. Vaguely Lavilena.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Okay

It was cold.

That was the only thing she felt. Cold.

She wanted to feel sadness. She wanted to be shocked by the bodies of her comrades lying dead on the battlefield.

But all she felt was... cold.

Had she been the only one to survive? She didn't see anyone else standing. Had they all fallen? She'd watched Allen die, killing the soul of the Noah within him. Miranda had overexerted herself, as usual, but there had been no way to protect her when everyone was fighting. Even Kanda…

She shook her head. Thinking about the dead wouldn't do her any good. She couldn't even process the deaths around her. She stood alone in a field of bodies, and all she felt was cold.

Her shoulders shook, and she heaved, coughing up dry air. There was nothing in her stomach. She was empty. Was that the cold, too? Where was everybody?

She dropped to her knees, her legs, which had supported her all this time, gave out. If any of the enemy were still living, this would have been the end. But none came. The mission was complete. They'd won.

So why did she feel so empty? This was their goal, wasn't it? To survive? To save the world? It was selfish to ask for more.

But, then, she had always been selfish, hadn't she? That's what she'd always been told when she tried to resist.

"Don't be selfish, now, girl. This is for the greater good," Louvellier had repeated as he forced her to activate her innocence, or ordered her to be strapped down, or scolded her for refusing to fight.

She'd served her duty, hadn't she?

There was no one to scold her for being selfish, now, because there was no one left. She could cry, and no one could call her weak. She could give up, right now. She could kill herself, easily, and no one could stop her.

She was free.

But she didn't feel anything. How funny, that when she finally escaped, it would be without the only things she cared about! She laughed, her whole body shaking. She laughed until she cried. She laughed until she felt a hand in her back, and she froze, her eyes snapping open.

"Lenalee."

She didn't move.

"It's okay."

"Lavi," she choked.

He silently kneeled down next to her, and she pushed herself into a sitting position, her legs still refusing to work. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. When she opened them to look over at Lavi, he was smiling, though his eyes were sad.

"Did anyone else – ," she stopped herself. Lavi shook his head, his smile disappearing.

Lenalee's body shook, just like when she cried, but no tears fell. They sat in silence except for the sound of her breaths.

Lavi put his coat over Lenalee's shoulders, but she still shivered. She still felt so cold. He held her close.

"We're okay," Lavi said, finally.

But they weren't.


End file.
